Today is June 26th, which means I have less than a month at my job, and less than two months until I move back stateside.
To help me emotionally prepare for this big life change, i've been taking very practical steps to ease the process. I've started cleaning out my desk, which has accumulated stacks of papers, snack wrappers, stickers, and books over the years. I've also been sorting out my apartment, trying to make piles for good will, things to ship home, things to pack. And i've been roughly planning out my schedule when I return home. All things that are helping my emotions catch up with the speeding calendar.
Ending things is weird, isn't it? I've never been good at "ends" ...like graduations, farewell parties, last days at jobs...I've always squirmed at the thought of them and then closed my eyes and clenched my fists as I walked towards the inevitable. Like a airplane landing awkwardly, doing a few too many skits and skaaats and tips and tops before landing evenly on the runway. That's how I always feel at the end. Up...down...happy...sad...thankful...unsure...peace...chaos...I'd much rather run away and not look at anything, than stare the exit straight in the face.
So now, as I look straight ahead at the end of this chapter in my life, my main prayer is that I would exit with grace. What a thought! Exit with grace. Not a sprint out the door. Not a silent exit with no witnesses. Not an eyes closed, fist clenched bye bye. Not a exasperated last yell. Not a tear soaked farewell. But a graceful, God-honoring, beautiful, exit.
God is faithful and I know He will help me through it all, just as He has helped me through every single day of my life here in Japan. It has been so sweet...and nearing the end is so hard. But God is good. And He is at work in all of it. Grace...grace...and more grace!!